I am Overwhelmed – Truths Told by a First-Time Mom
Becoming a new mom is no easy undertaking. We would often become swamped in a tsunami of thoughts and things brought about by the newness and uncertainty of now and what’s ahead of becoming a mother. It is at this stage that we become extremely happy, sad, and needy of so many things – all at the same time.
And it takes guts to admit the things we feel as we undergo this complete overturn called motherhood.
Below is a lovely piece that was bravely written by Mommy Graciela, a first-time mom. Reading this made it seemed like it was just yesterday since I underwent and felt the same overwhelming feeling myself, months after giving birth to my first-born. She has told the unspoken truths of many young and new moms.
I am grateful that she allowed me to share her post through this blog because I really wanted this to be read by more MoMillennials, especially those who find it hard to express themselves. You can see an edited version of her article in Smart Parenting but I also chose to re-post the original version because I love its rawness.
Just like the thousands of moms who have already read this, I am pretty sure you will be as moved and comforted of the truths told by Mommy Graciela.
OVERWHELMED – That is the one word that I can describe what I am going through right now in this new phase of my life: being a first-time mother.
Overwhelmed with LOVE – For my little bundle of joy. Wondering how it is possible that something so small can occupy a big space in my heart.
But I am…
Overwhelmed with STRESS – Why am I not producing more milk? Should I pump now or later? Am I feeding my baby correctly based on her needs?
Overwhelmed with GUILT – I returned to work after my maternity leave and every time that I will leave my baby sleeping or awake, it breaks me and wants me to return and not go to work anymore.
Overwhelmed with ANXIETY – Is my baby okay? Is someone taking good care of her? What will happen to our future? Am I good enough for her? Am I doing the right thing for her?
Overwhelmed with RESPONSIBILITIES – Now with a baby, I cannot be selfish and only think of myself. Every decision that I will make now includes her and her well being. Even my time is also compromised by her own time table.
Overwhelmed with BILLS – Before I used to think of what will I buy for myself. Now, I have to think of her vaccines, cost of diapers, clothes, and other necessary baby things.
Overwhelmed with FATIGUE – Sleep? What sleep? I haven’t had proper sleep in a comfortable position since my last trimester. My mind is in a constant blur of worries, anxiety, and questions and it has not stopped ever since.
Overwhelmed with EVERYTHING – Nowadays, the pressure of social media, being under the scrutiny of others by mom-shaming and the constant comparison of whether my baby is developing according to her age and milestone is something that is not helpful at all.
Overwhelmed with SADNESS – The feeling of being alone in this phase of my life. The late nights when I talk to my baby in the four corners of the room – feeling whole with her by my side but still feeling empty. Feeling that I have lost who I was, that I am not the same as before.
Overwhelmed with my DUTIES – As a breadwinner/provider, mother, and wife – all at the same time, which ended up to neglecting my health, my wellness, my sanity and my happiness in the process.
Overwhelmed with SHAME – Others were losing weight by breastfeeding but not me. I am gaining much weight, even more, when I was pregnant.
In times like these, I want to be…
Overwhelmed with UNDERSTANDING – That sometimes, I cannot do the same things I did before I became a mother.
Overwhelmed with PATIENCE – From all the people around me. That my family, especially my baby, has taken the first priority of my time and my energy.
Overwhelmed with LOVE – Love that encompasses all. The love that will surely show at times of struggle and sadness.
Overwhelmed with HOPE – That this too shall pass. And I will experience less stress, that I will be acknowledged or regarded that I am doing the right thing. That I am far from perfect but still continuously learning.
Overwhelmed with RESPECT – That even if we have different views in parenting, I will still have the final say since our daughter is our own. They say that parents discipline their children while grandparents and others can only spoil them.
Overwhelmed with FORGIVENESS – I may have done something not good as a mother or had bad moments with my baby, but that does not mean that I am a terrible parent. Accidents happen. I want to have the grace to be less critical and less perfectionist on myself.
And lastly, I want to be…
Overwhelmed with FAITH – In this journey, let me be reminded that God is always in control and that He will always deliver and He is ready to provide comfort and protection for me, my family and especially my baby.
I am OVERWHELMED.
